a love worth giving

God loves you, Personally, Powerfully, Passionately.
Others have promised and failed.
But God has promised and succeeded.
He loves you with an unfailing love.
And His love-If you will let it- Can fill you
And leave you with a love worth giving.


Love like there's no tomorrow, and if tomorrow comes, love again.


-Max Lucado-

pursuit of happiness

Sometimes I wish that I could have a time machine to take me back to the days that I knew when I was very happy and had no worries at all; when I felt like i had everything going for me, whether it was in sports or school. i had it so good then... 4.0 gpa, all conference and all county softball player, a well-trained voice and extremely sharp piano skills. It's funny and interesting to see what changes in a few years. It was so easy back then.

Haha, I just thought of how long ago that was. Man I am getting old lol anyway...

This year definitely has been one of the top winners for hardships. With being on the merge of graduating in May, the stress levels rise so quickly at the drop of a hat. School stress and personal stress always seem to tag team against me.However, I can now (finally) see the finish line. It's so near! I am just praying that the stress will go down too. Some things that are happening/happened in my personal life is what is more stressful than anything. I am starting a long journey of counseling to help me cope and overcome my fears and trials. It is really hard and emotionally draining; making everything I am and in me so raw and open. I don't like it right now, but I know its for the best with what I've just been through.

But even in the midst of struggle, I still have it good. I have an amazing support group behind and surrounding me, a loving family, and some of the most amazing and best friends anyone could ever ask for. I have grown in so many different ways, acquired new skills and talents and became a leader and mentor that I never imagined to be. However, some days Satan really gets me in my weakest moments and knows precisely where to attack. He gets me under the mind set that in order to be happy, good things have to happen to me or I feel loved by certain people. But maybe, happiness is something that i can only pursue. It is what I do and how I handle things and situations in my life and what I get out of them. No matter what i am feeling inside, I need to take things for what they are and be thankful for what I do have; which means, not dwelling on the past and thinking what could have happen differently or what it could be now.

Someone once defined happiness as that sense of warmth that begins at the core of the soul, spreads to the heart, and radiates outward from the eyes and lips of those who know it. The gift of happiness is elusive, but tangible. You cannot seek to find that which makes you happy for happiness comes from within and by your own choice.
And with that, I couldn't agree more. Thank you to those who have stayed with me through this journey. It has been a long road and it will continue but i know that since i have made it this far, i just gotta keep on going and never to quit. It is not in my dictionary. (it literally isnt, i cut it out.)

In every life, there are mountains that we all have to climb. God never promised us that life would be easy, but He did promise us with people in our lives to help us to keep moving forward in our weakest of times and to continue our pursuit of happiness. Being happy isnt having everything in your life be perfect. Its about stringing all the little things together and taking each day as it is and making the best out of it; making it all count more than the bad stuff. To get through it all, and to keep moving forward is maybe... all we can ask for.

I will bring praise, I will bring praise, no weapon formed against me shall remain. I will rejoice and I will declare that God is my VICTORY and He is here.

butterfly

The person who you were
is a part of my unknown.
Seeing pictures and tales-
amazing how you've grown.

You started out small,
the cutest thing you were.
Growing each and everyday,
into someone we were sure.

But in that little jar
we lost you without a doubt
All in the darkness around
you didn't hear our shout.

And in that precious night
a many sigh of great relief
We found you in hiding,
there under the milk weed leaf.

You had grown so quickly
Not much time had passed
And you were ready now
For the next stage at last.

Ready to throw the old away,
You made yourself anew!
beautiful and reborn again,
your heart is ever so true.

Ready to spread your wings
and fly into the unknown
Taking a leap of faith
and trusting in love He's shown.

Quiet, calm and gentle,
you soar over land and sea
showing beauty and love
in reserved fashion you can be.

Independent you've grown
for taking chances in life
but dependent on Him.
He will not cause you strife.

Watching you grow into
who you are today
brings tears to my eyes
and a smile that will stay.

So here you are my love
take heart and look to the sky
loved you for who you were
and now, a beautiful....

butterfly.





by Melanie S. Ward

light your world

There is a candle in every soul
Some brightly burning, some dark and cold
There is a Spirit who brings a fire
Ignites a candle and makes His home

So carry your candle, run to the darkness
Seek out the helpless, confused and torn
Hold out your candle for all to see it
Take your candle, and go light your world

Frustrated brother, see how he's tried to
Light his own candle some other way
See now your sister, she's been robbed and lied to
Still holds a candle without a flame

So Carry your candle, run to the darkness
Seek out the lonely, the tired and worn
Hold out your candle for all to see it
Take your candle, and go light your world

Cause We are a family whose hearts are blazing
So let's raise our candles and light up the sky
Praying to our Father, in the name of Jesus
Make us a beacon in darkest times

Carry your candle, run to the darkness
Seek out the hepeless, confused and torn
Hold out your candle for all to see it
Take your candle, and go light your world


Go light your world.

the hardest goodbye : the greatest hello

Have you ever felt like your heart is suddenly a million miles away from you? This is exactly how I feel tonight. For anyone who doesn't know how this feels, you're missing out. Ironic, right? This goodbye that you experience is one of the hardest things you ever have to do... but the perfect bliss of that simple "hello" after a long drought makes it all ever worth while. It's what keeps me looking for that silver-lining every morning as the next "hello" grows nearer.

___________________________________________________________

I promised myself this time that I wouldn't cry. It wasn't going to be that long, right? It was that feeling of "going back to how it usually is" is what was making my eyes fill with tears. I had felt comfort and familiarity that I had waited for, for so long--which that same thing was now walking towards the gate.
Escorted by me.
The hardest goodbye. Embraced with a hug and lined with salty tears. I walked away as the streams came down. I didn't think I would be like this--at least not this way.
I promised myself this time that I wouldn't cry.
I suddenly stopped. Purse in hand, I slowly turned around as I saw my precious friend walk through the gates. I hated goodbyes, especially the hard ones. I started walking towards an exit. At this point, any one of them would have worked. I clung my arms together as I braced myself against the cold winter breeze. Seeking warmth was all I wanted. Not just for skin. But for my soul.
Silently driving. Nothing to entrude or distract me and my thoughts. Even the passing cars seem to be respectly quiet as I drove in multiple lanes of quick-paced movement. An hour and a half did'nt seem as long as it normally does. I guess my mind was busy just like the traffic.
Silent.
Walking through the doors, I knew my parents could see what I was feeling.
My heart was on my sleeve.
I looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were as a pink blush wine with a display of saphire blue. Why couldn't my eyes always be this color?
Minus the pink.

Charging my phone... again.

I thank God for the hard moments within those goodbyes; because I know that there will once again be the greatest hello.
It's really amazing to sit back and look at the relationships you have in your life. Every. Single. One.
Thus that topic will bring you upon a second post.
If destiny decided I should look the other way, then the world would never know about the greatest story ever told.