A bit of random, a bit of fun :)

Leilani and I met up down by the baggage claim and we bonded instantly. We had been texting a week or so before so we knew where to meet eachother and whatnot. But in those texts we were connecting really well, and we both said that God was definitely in this, by blessing us with another friend. We wandered down and got us a rental car to make our way to the GEM headquarters. They gave us this cute little white car but one problem...

when the air was on, it only blew out heat. And when the heat was on, it only blew out scorching heat. Needless to say, we asked for a different car.

We were joking around with the tenant of how we wanted a cute and pretty car. She smiled and laughed and handed us the key. As we walked to find the car, we both stopped and jaws dropped....

We seriously got Rory Gilmore's little blue car!!! Same color and everything!!!

we both screamed in excitement.

oh ps. Leilani loves Gilmore girls too :) Instant love.

We get into the car, made sure the air worked and made our way towards Monument, CO (which is only 30 min away). They had sent us directions that were really vague and had brought them with us. We made our way off the exit it told us, and continued to make the turns.
However, we were not in Monument. We ended up in a different little town that only had probably 100 people in it. Just as we were about to turn around, we saw this little festival going on. We drove a bit closer, then out of nowhere, this man in tradition Indian headdress pops out!

Basically, I pointed and said, "We need to go to that."



Leilani is just as spontaneous as me and so she laughed and we pulled in. Come to find out, it was an Indian festival celebrating old tribes and traditions. Kind of cool! We saw a ton of people dressed up, we bought some hand made earrings, and then realized that we were starved! We found some food on site (I had a buffalo burger!) and then headed on our way.

We got out Leilani's iPhone and typed in the address(don't know why we didn't do that before!)to get to the GEM Headquarters. They were expecting us...

... or not.

We pulled into the lot and it was completely empty. Not a car in sight! We went and knocked on the doors and all but came to our senses that no one was gonna let us in. So I called Tim Garrett (remember him?) and he just laughed. Apparently they weren't expecting us till 5 hours later. So we took some pictures and then headed to our hosts house till get settled in and rest till dinner.

Linda is fantastic! She took us in immediately. We got things unpacked and we sat and chatted with her for ages. She has such a beautiful story of how God has worked in her life with such huge times of pain. She has such a heart for France and calls it home. She and her husband had done work there for years, but soon things started to go bad in their marriage. The organization had called them home to go through counseling but he refused. To make a long story short, he had come out and admitted that he had been gay this whole time since he was a teen and wasnt remaining true to his wife.

This had happened 10 years ago. Tear jerker I know! And this was the very short version! She is now ready and going back into the mission field in France and will be leaving soon.

i am so excited for her!

We then went and had dinner next door at the Rudeen's, where all the staff of GEM came for us to meet. This is where I met the baby of our group, Natasha. She is the sweetest thing ever! From Minnesota so I got my other half of the Midwest there with me. Anyway, we all had a good time and got to know other and was able to just have some. We then went around and did introductions of everyone and told who we were and where we wanted to go. It was so cool to see how God is pulling people in so many different areas!

Some of the staff went in and then explained what this week will look like to us and how it will be laid out. I am quite relieved actually from what I was feeling entering this. It will be fun!

The commission day will be Thursday... eek!

After all was said and done, the three of us girls went out for a lil' walk and took in the beauty of Colorado. We gazed at the mountain tops and admired the huge thunderstorm that was coming right at us, which I am listening in the background to right now.

We then came back inside and chatted more with Linda as she asked us questions like, "What got us to GEM?" and so on. these girls who I am living with are phenomenal. I cannot wait to see how God uses both Natasha and Leilani in their futures, and how we can use our new friendships to encourage each other along the way.

All in all, it was a great first day :)

PS. Linda totally has thee cutest dog and worlds most fattest cat. ever.

you are now entering the rocky mountains

So picture this:

As the plane is getting ready to touch down in Colorado Springs, I look to my left and see nothing but an endless sea of brown/light green/grey with not a house in sight.
I seriously thought:

This is Colorado? Man, had I pictured something WAY different.

In search of hope, I turned my head to the right and my jaw just dropped. There was a city and then nothing but huge and the most beautiful mountains. I never thought i would be so happy to see a glimpse of snow, but they way that it layers the mountain tops just made me fill with awe.
I have seen a good portion of all of God's creation across the states, but this was sight I had not encountered yet. I am simply amazed at God's creation! He placed those mountains and molded them to His liking. Every detail, every peak... done perfectly in His likeness.

I am meeting a girl here at the airport to drive up to GEM headquarters and I am so glad that my plane came in an hour before hers. As I sit here in this most uncomfortable airport chair, I can only be filled with happiness and joy. I have the most perfect view of some of the most beautiful pieces of rock.



I really want some more coffee.

Anyway, I am feeling a bit sick in my stomach. I think it's because I am nervous. Please pray for wisdom and strength and calming of nerves. This is a huge next step for me.

And also, the beginning to grand, new adventure.

coffee. not. working.

First of all, I just wanna say how extremely tired I am. I had to work late last night and by the time I got to my parents house it was 11 pm. Naturally, I couldnt sleep right away so I chatted with my brother for a bit, did a load of laundry, printed some things, and next thing I knew it was 12:30 am. Shoot.

Now, if you all didn't know what time my flight was going to leave in the morning... all I will say is super early. Needless to say, I have to be at the airport at 4 am. Well, to rest ease to all your minds, I am currently at the airport and it is 5 am while I am waiting to board. This latte tastes so good but its not putting my body into a jolt (which I was hoping for) for my merely 3 1/2 hours worth of sleep.

I really didn't think this whole process through that much. Ha!

On to coffee round #2.

I fly from Milwaukee to Dallas, and then onto Colorado Springs. oh! and if you all don't know why I am traveling in the first place, I am on my way to missionary training at GEM headquarters in Colorado Springs. It will be intense training and I am a bit nervous and could use all the prayer I could get!
But... as of this coming Friday (11th), I will officially be appointed as a missionary.... I KNOW, RIGHT!?

Trying to click that one into reality.

Ok. Going to try to figure out how this coffee will work. Write more later!

See you in Colorado!

ps. Just realized I started this off complaining. I promise it will be better!

Day 3 + 4..... Glasgow and Edinburgh

Hey all,

slept really well that night and woke up refreshed and ready to meet more people!
We walked down to the subway (or the tube) and 5 min later, we were off to meet some people in a church called Mosaic.

We first met a man named Mike. He is an American who attends Mosaic but came over with an outreach mindset to the community. There1fore, he started his own bead company, where people can come in and make their own jewelry or even by some things that are already made there.
He had so many beads! What I was picturing was nothing like what I saw! It was a whole lot classier and so impressive! Anyway, it has gotten so well that he has hired the Scots themselves as employees to help him run his store. Late this past week, they held a wine and cheese night and did a reverse miracle : turning wine into water.
What they did is that they had a wine night and were taking donations to give to an organization to help build wells in Africa for those who didn't have water.
Wow. What a ministry!
Mike was saying that he was only expecting to raise enough money for one well, but amazingly, they came up with enough for three!! So cool.
His ministry is getting into the community and making a difference and pulling people into Christ that way. Its actually pretty awesome.
So next, a guy named Wes White came in who also is a huge part of Mosaic church in Glasgow. We all went to the park and just sat and chatted about what Mosaic is trying to do. It is so awesome. They see the same vision that what GEM has. They want to be involved in the 98 percent that doesn't go to church; to get in the community; establish themselves and form relationships.

It was really awesome to see God work through those ministries.

Towards the end, Tim really introduced me to Wes and said that I want to be a missionary to Scotland and feel being called to the country. Tim kind of left it at that and we talked for a bit.
He asked me all sort of background questions about who I am, what are my visions and goals, as well as talents and gifts. He then asked me what could I do for an outreach ministry or a church and how can I be affective.

I stopped and thought... and told him that before I ever came here, I told God that I wanted to be stretched. I didn't want to be comfortable or have people over here put me only into something that I want and desire. There is such a bigger picture and vision to that.

"What are the needs that you see that need to be met? What do you want and desire to see happen?" I asked Wes.

He replied saying that there is a huge generation gap between the ages of 11 and college students that there is no ministry for. He even said that his own kids here have a few Christian friends, but they are not engaging in anything at all. They have nothing.

My heart broke.

What we have been praying for, he said, is someone to come and to revive the youth. To take and get control of it and do something with it and then turn it into an outreach ministry to the rest of the community. We need to get our own kids on board and excited for this.

Oh. My. Goodness.

He then went on to saying that they need help musically. His wife runs the worship part of it but she needs help and can't do it all by herself. They need someone to help train up others into worship.

My heart almost bursted out of me. Could this be it? Could this be what I will be doing?

This was my dream job.

I had explained to Wes that those things were my passion and how I am so on fire for those things. I want to transform these kids lives and be able to build and transform people into leaders of the church so that they can be on fire for what we want to see happen. Get more people on board.
We talked more and more about vision and my role in the church and community.

As time passed, it was soon time for him to leave. He gave me a business card but wrote his personal email on it and said, "I want you to send me a few paragraphs about your spiritual transformation and more about yourself. We are really interested in sponsoring you for a visa."

EEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKK!!!! I KNOW RIGHT?!?!

My heart was filled with joy. It was so surreal. Could this really be it? Could this place be my new home?

We took the tube back and walked around the city for a bit, and took loads of pictures. We went back to the train station and headed back for Edinburgh to meet Leanne for dinner.
As I sat there, I was letting it all process. I filled my ears with worship music and was just giving God the glory. Glory to God, Glory to God, Glory to God forever!

We met Leanne for dinner and went to this place called Monster Mash. Oh my word, was it amazing! I had mac n' cheese with some good mashed potatoes, but of course not as good as my mom's!
Leanne and I had suddenly a burst of energy and went to Sainsbury and bought ice cream and a bunch of other little deserts!! it was needless to say... AMAZING.
We sat around and all played a card game and listened to the Emperor's New Groove play on the TV in the background. Tim was objected to it, but I didn't care. Its a great movie!

I went to bed with a sugar rush, which was a horrible idea. Haha.

It's ok... I slept in till 10 :)

So, today was our ultimate free day. We were supposed to meet up with guy from the Church of Scotland, but that kind of fell through. Tim, Bryan, and crazy Jen and I all went out for coffee/diet coke/lunch to chat. Was really cool to see how God is working through her life!

So after that, I decided to explore! There is this huge mountain hill thingy called Arthur's Seat, and it officially is my favorite place in the world. I took the most difficult way up it to challenge myself and boy, was I challenged! But as soon as I got to the top....

Breathless.




you can see everything from up there. I sat up there for an hour or so just taking in God's beauty and creation. I mean its no Cliffs of Moher, but it was close enough :) It was so crazy to see how small the city looked from up there and how huge it can seem to us while we are in it. It makes you think and step back of small we are in the world, but how big our God is.

It is truly... wonderful.

Anyway, I figured I probably should get down the huge thing at some point, so I put on my backstreet boys on the ipod and made my way down. As i got back into the city, i did some roaming around for a while, looking at things that I had seen a year ago when I was here last and just taking it all in for one of my last days in that city.
By the way, it was gorgeous out!! It was nearly 78 degrees which is remarkable for Scotland! Jen was saying that this was their one day of summer so we should be thankful that we were here for it! I even think i got a "wee" bit of a tan hehe.

I arrived back at the house 7 hours later and came in to find that Catricia had gone to the hospital! I waited for her to come back home and found her to be coming in with crutches and a most likely torn ACL.... no good.
She was supposed to leave tomorrow morning but in no shape to travel at all. Tried sorting out plane details but will have to wait to the morning when the offices are actually open.

Since it still was a gorgeous night out, Bryan and I took a walk around town and got some drinks and observe the "night life" of Edinburgh. Not as lively as Glasgow, but if ya look in the right places, it is pretty hoppin!
It was a beautiful night out. Perfect temperature.
We came back and watched some TV for a bit until everyone got tired and went to bed. We were the only two people up yet and still on our laptops. haha. On facebook as well!
However, in that time, I got to chat on the phone with the lovely Lindsay Pratt! It was so good to hear her voice and talk about what God has been doing. Was a brief convo but a good one. Can't wait to talk again!

Anyway, all for the moment at hand and need some sleep. Been a fantastic few days! But exhausting as well.
Going to church in the morning and college group at night to meet some people and then off to Glasgow to catch my flight for early in the morning. Had to book a hostel for the night but found a decent price.

Bless you all and will talk soon :)
xox

Day 2... Glasgow and Stewarton

We had to get up early this morning to catch a train out of Edinburgh to go to a small town outside of Glasgow called Stewarton. We were going to meet some of tim’s friends who are from Zimbabwe and been missionaries here in Scotland for nine years.
I came downstairs about the time we were to leave, and Sue Rose said, “ya aren’t having any breakfast?!” Two days in a row now breakfast has been forced to me… haha. We left at about half 8 in the morning and booked it on foot for Waverly station. Train was not a bad price for there and back. Only 20 pounds for the whole deal.
As soon as we got on the train, Tim gets out a few decks of cards for us to play a game called “Hearts.” Let me tell you, that was so confusing! I still cant even properly explain it to you all. I get the concept, sort of, but I am absolutely retched at it.
It was pretty competitive and all I can say is that if you give me the queen of spades when playing…

You’re going down.

Finally after playing it for an hour on the train, I GET IT! But go figure, we had to get off and transfer platforms. By the time we got on our transfer, he wanted to play a new game called “up and down the river,” which I totally rocked at ps. It was quite good fun.
We got off the train and walked over to a supermarket called Sainsbury, which all the girls in Ireland absolutely loved when I was there. Good cheap deals! Found the new twilight movie for 7 pounds!!!
Anyway…
We met up with Gary and Hazel Brakes and they are the most wonderful people. They took us in and Hazel cooked us the most wonderful meal ever! So delicious with apple pie and everything!
We talked a lot about the church of Scotland and how times are changing. Things need to become more modern because people just are not staying in the old traditional ways from back in the 1700s. there is that generation gap which we were discussing yesterday. They continued to tell us the story of how they came to Scotland—felt like God was just calling them there.
Needless to say, they basically just got up and moved. Not knowing anyone or even the slightest clue on what to do. Very brave if you ask me.

They decided to start up a church right out of their home and it now has grown into a 60 person church which is so cool. So inspiring and literally starting from nothing.
I went into the kitchen and started to chat with Hazel as she was getting the pie ready to be served. I asked her how she met Gary and when they got married. She said that they met when she was 29 years old but for the longest time she didn’t think she was going to ever get married. When she entered the church, she met a lady that told her that she was praying for her daughter’s husband, even though they had no idea who he was. Hazel explained and said, “I probably should be doing that too. I mean, I really want to find someone. I really am not interested in the dating part so much. I just want to find my husband and him to be my one and only.”

My heart seriously sunk. It is exactly where I am at. I mean, I don’t personally mind the whole dating deal, but Id like it to be in the potential of finding a husband. I knew the feelings that she had once felt.
For eight years she said she had prayed for a husband, but yet no one came. She said that at times she was depressed and lonely and was really frustrated. She said that all her friends were in relationships but she was the only one out.

Wow. Her and I were more alike than I thought. Then I asked, “what did you do?”

“I suddenly felt it on my heart that I should just be praying for a good friend. And that’s it,” Hazel remarked. Three months later, Gary showed up.

She went and talked on of how since she heard that she should be looking for a friend instead, that God probably didn’t want her to be with anyone. “So I got involved in every single ministry I could. I basically did it all because I was so convinced that God didn’t want me with anyone.”
Hazel said that Gary tried to ask her out many times, but she kept denying him for she did see him that way. But soon they became very good and close friends. And then they both realized, that they were meant to be together.

Amazing, right?

But here is the part that makes my heart melt. Before Gary came to the church, he needed to get right with God. God was working on him in the time that Hazel was praying for a husband; making sure that he was right and perfect for her. But in one of Hazel’s prayers, she prayed to God that if she were meant to be married, that if it were possible he would have blue eyes and curly hair.
In Gary’s teen years growing up and early 20s, he had perfectly straight hair. But a few years before he came to the church, his hair suddenly went curly. They got married within a few months later and he was her first boyfriend, first kiss and first love. He also has blue eyes!

This is where my heart was completely gone. Her story was so inspiring to me that all I could do was to tear up because I feel like I am in the same shoes she was so many years ago.

After dinner was done, Bryan and I took a “wee” walk down the country side rode and chatted and took in God’s beautiful creation—and got to see some cows haha. We walked back and packed up the car to leave. As I said my goodbyes, Hazel looked at me and said, “I will be praying for you that you find your one. He will come but only in God’s timing.” I shed a tear as I hugged her and climbed into the car to go back to the train station and onward to Glasgow for the night.

We arrived back into Glasgow and started to walk around the town and explore it all—such a dark and gloomy town. So depressing it is. The spiritual darkness just lags over everything. You can feel it everywhere.
We got some amazing Italian food for cheap, took some pictures and headed back to hotel for the night. Bryan, Tim and I sat around for a bit just chatting until Tim got too tired haha. Bryan and I stayed up and talked for a bit and here I am now writing to all of you.

Going to meet church called Mosaic tomorrow.
Pray it all goes well!

Love until then xox

Officially... Day One

I woke in the morning feeling revived and safe. I was in a house of people who cared for me, even if they didn’t know me and with a wonderful team. Last night when I had arrived, they all told me that I could sleep as long as I needed to because of my stressful day. I took that offer and woke up at around 10 am in the morning. And I can honestly say, that cured me of jet lag! Hallelujah! This was the first time that I had traveled overseas and had gotten over the time difference in one night; usually it took 2 days.
I got dressed, make-up and all, and came downstairs. Rachel greeted me along with Tim and we sat at the table and just chatted away. I wasn’t really that hungry, however—I think my stomach was on a different schedule than the rest of my body. Rachel kept offering me all of this food for breakfast and I insisted that I have something. I laughed everytime she asked me and finally after the 5th time, I agreed to have a pear—which was delish by the way.

We didn’t really have plans till about 4 pm, so we decided to get emmersed into the culture and do a bit site-seeing and just take a look at the people of the city as a whole and how we can reach them. We wandered all around the city, even found a starbucks so Bryan and I could get our coffee intake. 
We walked and walked and soon we were looking for another little café we could just sit and relax and eat a bit. I remembered the last time I was in Edinburgh, I really loved the Elephant House café. And as a side note to all of you who didn’t know, it was where Harry Potter was written! (Well at least the apartment above!) We sat down and ordered some food and more coffee and Bryan proclaimed this was his new favorite place. I will take credit for that. We talked for a good while about what ways we can aim for that 98 percent of the city who don’t know the gospel. Tim had said that so many GEM missionaries in the past just stay in the church of that 2 percent and never showed any signs of outreach or growth in the church.
In a few hours, we were going to a church call Carrubers and really trying to think of ideas how to get more people into the church. We sat strategizing different ideas of what we needed to do to be involved in the community. We talked about how we can train up others to take the spots that we were developing and teach the Scots of how to outreach to their community. Relationships are so key here. Our goal is to be in the world with them, making friendships and drawing them in that way. Our key is to get involved in the local community and reach people that way. The church Carrubers has a café that they have connected to the church but not many people go to it. There is a huge generation gap that is missing and unreached. I asked Tim if he could see me here and he said “Most definitely!”

We met with Leanne at 4 pm to talk about vision and the church. The church itself has not been really about outreach but this girl wants to get into the community to reach them. This girl is 23 years old and has such great vision to see people reformed and revived. She is actually just so brilliant and the sweetest thing ever. She took us to a chocolate coffee shop where she introduced me to the chocolate shot. Pretty intense! Her and I chatted for a bit and got to know each other better. Our team and Leanne talked more and more about the spiritual atmosphere in Edinburgh, which is actually quite sad. She said that just right outside the church, witchcraft is really heavy and some nights you walk out and can feel such a great darkness and heaviness. There is such a great need here. Scotland is so dark and there are so many unreached. My eyes were even more opened in ways I never could have imagined.
We walked back to the Rose’s and got take out for dinner for the night. Tim got Indian and Bryan, Leanne and I got the chipper (chippy). So good to have that again in my life  We sat around the table and had some good laughs, made fun of Bryan, and took in the quality time.

After dinner, Bryan, Tim, Leanne and I went to a jazz bar to listen to some jazz music and chat some more. Leanne and I got to talk a bit and has been so cool getting to know her! Have a feeling this is the beginning to a really good friendship. Oh, she also said that my Irish accent comes out really strong in some sentences and could actually pass for an Irish person—was really proud of that moment! For some reason, my mind hears an accent and I automatically go into one without knowing it but then snap back into the classic American accent when I am with the others. Ha, I am weird I know!
We got back pretty late and headed straight up to bed. I caved and had some chocolate before bed but led to the fact I couldn’t sleep the night.

Oh well… at least it was worth it 

Tomorrow we head to Glasgow and Stewarton to meet some of Tim’s friends.
Should be a good time!

Until then, much love x

Road Blocked due to.... Me?

Since the end of the last post, I was feeling pretty positive! I woke up in the morning, feeling hopeful for the day to come. Just to let you all know, my eyes were either glued to the TV for updates or glued to my laptop with London Heathrow's website page on the front. I was also keeping in touch with some of my good friends in Ireland periodically to make sure everything was going good in terms of volcano.
So far so good.
However, I realized that I didn't pack one huge essential item: my make-up bag. I know, I know... laugh and giggle all you want. It was a comfort security and I needed it. Can I just say, that I have amazing friends? My roommate actually drove it to Racine for me and dropped it off. Bless you, Kay :)
Anyway.
My dad took me down to the airport six hours early because I wanted to see if I could jump on an earlier flight (flight I had was to leave at 10 pm). Unfortunately, lady at counter said that you couldn't do stand-by flights for international departures.
Bummer.
Also, we had gone to the wrong terminal to begin with because my international flight was leaving out of a domestic terminal. One would only think that I would have left out of the international terminal... not so much the case this time. Weird.

My dad walked me over once more to the security lines and we said our goodbyes. I was pretty confident that I was going to make it to the UK; I had a strong feeling. After getting through the painfully long line, (which by the way, totally got yelled at for taking a bin to put my belongings in from a line that I was not in. Apparently they are labeled? Seriously now.) I made it through and was able to meet up with my team leader, Tim.
He is a funny guy let me tell you. We talked about how our goal is to minister to the 98% of people who didn't go to church instead of staying within that 2%. We were coming up with different scenarios and talking about my vision for it all as well as where I thought I could see myself in. Honestly, it was pretty scary talking about it all. This is huge and new stage of my life--this was the real deal. Was a bit nervous but am good with it all now.
Teammate Bryan showed up! Shorter than what I thought he'd be LOL :) but a very funny and nice guy. We chatted a bit and then we all headed up to a suite lounge where all the frequent fliers can stay instead of by gate. Let me tell you, leather couches and chairs, free coffee and snacks and a complimentary glass of wine. AMAZING. Was so relaxing and quiet--exactly was I needed.
Tim and Bryan's flight left right before me so I stayed up there and watched Legally Blonde on the TV until I boarded.
Walked down, sat down in my assigned seat, and we were off.
No ashes, no volcano; just me in the air with a pillow and blanket, ready to embrace the future ahead.

Now... here is where it all gets interesting.

Eight hours later, I officially landed in London's airport, excited for a new day and adventure. I texted some people to let me them know I had got here safely and started to head towards the baggage claim. As I approached customs, I got out my details and passport to go through.
The lady called me forward and took my information I handed her. As she was looking through everything, all of a sudden she stopped and looked at me. Then she sternly asks, "Why were you sent home from Ireland? What are you doing here? Why have you gone to Ireland this much?"
My heart literary skipped a beat.
She was drilling me for information about what happened last summer when I got sent home by the Irish. In short terms, I explained to her that my paperwork that I had was expired and so was not recognized as a person to enter the country by the government.
She really didn't understand this at all. She had questioned everytime I had entered ireland and what my purpose was; grilling me of what I was doing in the UK. She even told me to stop lying because she soon was going to find out the truth. I promised her that everything was the truth and that I had nothing to hide. She then said, "Well, I am not sure if we can let you in the country. Have a seat while I talk to the chief."
My heart had stopped. Are you freaking kidding me?! I thought. Is this seriously going to happen again??
As I walked away, I chuckled to myself because I couldn't believe it was happening. She soon came and got me and put me in a room with other UK border patrol. They took my picture a few times and then got fingerprinted and was sent off to containment to wait.
I sat there in disbelief. Was this seriously happening? Ten minutes later, she came in and told me that it was going to be three-quarters to an hour that I would know and be talked to and interviewed.

Five hours later...

I was scared out of my mind. I really thought I was going home. I sat there shaking and said, "God, if you don't want me here and if this is a closed road, then send me home." She finally came back and said "Follow me" very sternly. Her and I sat down in a room as she started to ask questions. She asked me so many questions.... and at first she didn't believe me on what I told her why I was here. She had asked me if I knew the people I was staying with. I replied "no" which is the truth, in turn she replied back with, " I do not understand why strangers would take someone into their home and not charge any rent at all. This doesn't sound right. Are you telling me the truth?"
I seriously could not believe at how ridiculous this was. She started to ask me what I do at home, about my family, and who I knew in ireland. Oh and here is a good one: right before I boarded the plane, my dad gave me a family tree chart of where my family all came from. Cool thing, they were from Scotland. He thought it would be cool for me to look at it on the plane and see if I was going to be near any of these places. WELL, the lady found it and asked what it was. I told her.
"Are any of these people alive?"
"No."
"Are you going grave hunting for these people and dig them up?"
"What? No?"
Haha, I know right? I re-explained to her what it was and she finally got it. It was just a piece of paper with my family on it.
Did I mention that this interview took almost two hours? oh yes. she had to write the questions and my answers down all by hand. Ridiculous.
Anyway, at the end, she had explained that she wasn't sure if I was allowed here. She said she had to call the Irish police to see if I was allowed back there, and if I wasn't, they wouldn't let me in either. Understandable... I guess.
After she got off the phone with them, she started to joke around and be nice with me. I think she was realizing how ridiculous this all was. She said that I was allowed back into Ireland. Well, duh. She then stated that they didn't have enough evidence to send me home. No way!
They seriously blew a tiny thing into something huge that just wasted almost 7 hours of my time and scared the crap out of me.
Needless to say, I was granted permission into the UK, but was warned that if I do come back, my passport was now flagged and may be questioned everytime I enter now.
I have a file. A file! Like a criminal.
After she released me, I seriously ran. I needed to get out of that airport.
I jumped on a train and after 6 hours, I was FINALLY in Scotland. My good friend was telling me that Satan was doing everything he could to keep me from going this time.
I got a hold of Bryan and was he relieved! He said that if he didnt hear from me, he was going to jump on a plane right back to London. Protective and sweet I know!
Sue Rose, (fantastic lady and host to where I am staying) came and picked me up from the station and took me home to be united with my team and to call the night to a close. As I entered, she put food in front of me ( I had none to eat since the plane) and we chatted for a long bit. Bryan walked in and sighed a huge sigh of relief. "Melanie, I know we just met, but can I please give you a hug?"
It was exactly what I needed. Just a hug.
I then met a gal named Rachel, who lives here in the house, and was cool to start to get to know her. I also met Catricia (another future, hopeful,teammate)who is my roomy while I am here. Fantastic lady! From LA as well!

After a long day, I decided to retire and get some sleep. Still in a state of shock about what happened and can't believe how ridiculous it was. It was traumatizing for a while but doing ok.

If I learned anything, this is it:

the UK containment area is WAY nicer than the Irish. The one in Ireland had 4 white walls and one chair. They wouldn't even let me use the bathroom!
At least in the UK containment, there were glass windows so they could watch me, couches and chairs, some water and fruit with a bathroom!
Very first class.


Excited for a new day. Hope everything is uphill from here.

Love you all so much xoxo

Road Closed due to Volcano

As most of you know, I was on schedule to leave for Dublin, Ireland, yesterday afternoon and then precede onto Scotland the next morning.
Well, needless to say, Iceland had something to say about that.

As I was driving to the airport, I received a phone call from my team member, Bryan. He had informed me that the volcanic ash was in the air again and many airports had shut down.
My heart literally stopped. I thought, How can this happend? I am so excited and ready.

After arriving in Dublin the next day, I had plans to meet with dear friends of mine that I haven't seen in over a year. It was a time for reuniting and fellowship. It would have been amazing-if anything else. Anyway, I was counting on that night with them to catch up and just have fun. The world had different plans.

I got to the airport, not knowing what to expect. I was keeping in touch with some friends in Ireland while they were keeping me up-to-date on the status of the airport openings. The Dublin Airport was currently closed until 9 am the next morning, which was ok because my plane was due to land at 8:50 am. I would be just a little bit delayed. Relieved to hear that, they checked my bags and they sent me on a transfer flight to Philadelphia to wait and hear more updates about my flight into Dublin.

As I sat in anxiousness, I was praying that everything would clear up and I would be able to get there. My dad had walked me to security and calmed me for a bit. As he prayed over me, I felt hope that everything would work out alright. As we talked, he told me something that stuck out in my mind: "Maybe if this flight doesn't work out today, tomorrow's flight will be better. Now, Melanie, there would be a good reason why you would be flying out tomorrow instead of today. Maybe he wants you to sit next to someone on a flight tomorrow who needs to be witnessed to. Or maybe someone to be just a mere blessing to you." Those words I will always remember.

I got through security and reached my gate. As i waited to board, I called a few people to pass the time and say some last goodbyes for a few weeks. About 10 minutes before boarding, my phone rang.
At that same moment, about 15 other passengers phone rang as well.

My stomach had dropped. I felt so sick. I just knew this wouldn't be a good call.

I answered.

An automated voice came over the other end and explained to me that my flight to Dublin had been canceled. I immediately got off the plane to Philly and headed back to the ticket counter.

The kind lady at the counter had a really stressed expression on her face, as in so did I probably. She had explained to me that no airports in England, Ireland or Scotland that were safe for me to fly into. Everything was shut down and nothing was going out in terms of flights until tomorrow. I started to cry. Everything I was so excited for seemed to be slowly slipping away.

The lady had booked me in for a flight that leaves the next day to go into London and then transfer over to Dublin. She told me that there was an 80 percent chance of the flight being canceled tomorrow as well. That was really hard to take in. She gave me my new ticket and sent me on my way to help the other frantic customers. I went down to the baggage and got my poor suitcase full of hopes and dreams. I called my good friend and just cried to her. I was questioning everything and doubting it all. How could this have happened to me... i thought. why?

I got off the phone with her and an hour later my dad arrives to pick me up. I was so exhausted that I slept the whole entire way home. He told me that I should go out and have some fun tonight, but all I wanted was to stay in my room and not come out. I looked online at the status of the volcano ash and all airports were to re-open in the morning, but were unsure if they were.

Exhausted as I was, I passed out and fell asleep.

This morning I got up feeling better, but still in shock that this even happened. My dad made me breakfast (he is trying to do anything he can to make me feel better--bless him). We turned on the news and saw that all airports are open and it appears that the ash cloud is clearing. I am due to fly out of Chicago tonight at 10 pm and arrive in London at 11:25 am and then transfer over to Dublin.
However, here is where the complication arises: Since I am arriving a day late, I am missing my flight into Glasgow, Scotland, meaning that I am stuck in Ireland. That necessarily would not be entirely a bad thing, but the purpose of me on this trip was to be in Scotland. I needed to be there.
So, after 4 hours of searching online for solutions of travel to find a way into Scotland at a decent rate, I found that it was cheapest to pay 115 pounds and just take a train from London to Edinburgh and miss my connecting flight into Dublin.
My dad had asked me if I would be ok on my own with this, but he did forget that I have been to London before and know the underground and train system quite well. After all, i did figure out Paris all by myself. And at least they speak English where I am going.
I decided, though, that I will go to the airport about 4 pm to see if I can be a standby on any other flights to get there any earlier. I found out that my team member Bryan and team leader, Tim, will be on the flight before me. So my goal is to get on that flight with them. I am meeting both of them at 5 pm to just talk and sort everything out. First time I will actually be meeting Bryan in the flesh!
He did tell me yesterday that we all will have dinner and a glass of wine to make it all better.

And honestly, that sounds extremely wonderful right now.

Going to the bank to get more money out and then heading down to the airport. Will write more if I can tomorrow to keep you all posted if I got to Scotland or not! Lord Willing!

Please pray for safety and no more volcanoes please :)

a love worth giving

God loves you, Personally, Powerfully, Passionately.
Others have promised and failed.
But God has promised and succeeded.
He loves you with an unfailing love.
And His love-If you will let it- Can fill you
And leave you with a love worth giving.


Love like there's no tomorrow, and if tomorrow comes, love again.


-Max Lucado-

pursuit of happiness

Sometimes I wish that I could have a time machine to take me back to the days that I knew when I was very happy and had no worries at all; when I felt like i had everything going for me, whether it was in sports or school. i had it so good then... 4.0 gpa, all conference and all county softball player, a well-trained voice and extremely sharp piano skills. It's funny and interesting to see what changes in a few years. It was so easy back then.

Haha, I just thought of how long ago that was. Man I am getting old lol anyway...

This year definitely has been one of the top winners for hardships. With being on the merge of graduating in May, the stress levels rise so quickly at the drop of a hat. School stress and personal stress always seem to tag team against me.However, I can now (finally) see the finish line. It's so near! I am just praying that the stress will go down too. Some things that are happening/happened in my personal life is what is more stressful than anything. I am starting a long journey of counseling to help me cope and overcome my fears and trials. It is really hard and emotionally draining; making everything I am and in me so raw and open. I don't like it right now, but I know its for the best with what I've just been through.

But even in the midst of struggle, I still have it good. I have an amazing support group behind and surrounding me, a loving family, and some of the most amazing and best friends anyone could ever ask for. I have grown in so many different ways, acquired new skills and talents and became a leader and mentor that I never imagined to be. However, some days Satan really gets me in my weakest moments and knows precisely where to attack. He gets me under the mind set that in order to be happy, good things have to happen to me or I feel loved by certain people. But maybe, happiness is something that i can only pursue. It is what I do and how I handle things and situations in my life and what I get out of them. No matter what i am feeling inside, I need to take things for what they are and be thankful for what I do have; which means, not dwelling on the past and thinking what could have happen differently or what it could be now.

Someone once defined happiness as that sense of warmth that begins at the core of the soul, spreads to the heart, and radiates outward from the eyes and lips of those who know it. The gift of happiness is elusive, but tangible. You cannot seek to find that which makes you happy for happiness comes from within and by your own choice.
And with that, I couldn't agree more. Thank you to those who have stayed with me through this journey. It has been a long road and it will continue but i know that since i have made it this far, i just gotta keep on going and never to quit. It is not in my dictionary. (it literally isnt, i cut it out.)

In every life, there are mountains that we all have to climb. God never promised us that life would be easy, but He did promise us with people in our lives to help us to keep moving forward in our weakest of times and to continue our pursuit of happiness. Being happy isnt having everything in your life be perfect. Its about stringing all the little things together and taking each day as it is and making the best out of it; making it all count more than the bad stuff. To get through it all, and to keep moving forward is maybe... all we can ask for.

I will bring praise, I will bring praise, no weapon formed against me shall remain. I will rejoice and I will declare that God is my VICTORY and He is here.

butterfly

The person who you were
is a part of my unknown.
Seeing pictures and tales-
amazing how you've grown.

You started out small,
the cutest thing you were.
Growing each and everyday,
into someone we were sure.

But in that little jar
we lost you without a doubt
All in the darkness around
you didn't hear our shout.

And in that precious night
a many sigh of great relief
We found you in hiding,
there under the milk weed leaf.

You had grown so quickly
Not much time had passed
And you were ready now
For the next stage at last.

Ready to throw the old away,
You made yourself anew!
beautiful and reborn again,
your heart is ever so true.

Ready to spread your wings
and fly into the unknown
Taking a leap of faith
and trusting in love He's shown.

Quiet, calm and gentle,
you soar over land and sea
showing beauty and love
in reserved fashion you can be.

Independent you've grown
for taking chances in life
but dependent on Him.
He will not cause you strife.

Watching you grow into
who you are today
brings tears to my eyes
and a smile that will stay.

So here you are my love
take heart and look to the sky
loved you for who you were
and now, a beautiful....

butterfly.





by Melanie S. Ward

light your world

There is a candle in every soul
Some brightly burning, some dark and cold
There is a Spirit who brings a fire
Ignites a candle and makes His home

So carry your candle, run to the darkness
Seek out the helpless, confused and torn
Hold out your candle for all to see it
Take your candle, and go light your world

Frustrated brother, see how he's tried to
Light his own candle some other way
See now your sister, she's been robbed and lied to
Still holds a candle without a flame

So Carry your candle, run to the darkness
Seek out the lonely, the tired and worn
Hold out your candle for all to see it
Take your candle, and go light your world

Cause We are a family whose hearts are blazing
So let's raise our candles and light up the sky
Praying to our Father, in the name of Jesus
Make us a beacon in darkest times

Carry your candle, run to the darkness
Seek out the hepeless, confused and torn
Hold out your candle for all to see it
Take your candle, and go light your world


Go light your world.

the hardest goodbye : the greatest hello

Have you ever felt like your heart is suddenly a million miles away from you? This is exactly how I feel tonight. For anyone who doesn't know how this feels, you're missing out. Ironic, right? This goodbye that you experience is one of the hardest things you ever have to do... but the perfect bliss of that simple "hello" after a long drought makes it all ever worth while. It's what keeps me looking for that silver-lining every morning as the next "hello" grows nearer.

___________________________________________________________

I promised myself this time that I wouldn't cry. It wasn't going to be that long, right? It was that feeling of "going back to how it usually is" is what was making my eyes fill with tears. I had felt comfort and familiarity that I had waited for, for so long--which that same thing was now walking towards the gate.
Escorted by me.
The hardest goodbye. Embraced with a hug and lined with salty tears. I walked away as the streams came down. I didn't think I would be like this--at least not this way.
I promised myself this time that I wouldn't cry.
I suddenly stopped. Purse in hand, I slowly turned around as I saw my precious friend walk through the gates. I hated goodbyes, especially the hard ones. I started walking towards an exit. At this point, any one of them would have worked. I clung my arms together as I braced myself against the cold winter breeze. Seeking warmth was all I wanted. Not just for skin. But for my soul.
Silently driving. Nothing to entrude or distract me and my thoughts. Even the passing cars seem to be respectly quiet as I drove in multiple lanes of quick-paced movement. An hour and a half did'nt seem as long as it normally does. I guess my mind was busy just like the traffic.
Silent.
Walking through the doors, I knew my parents could see what I was feeling.
My heart was on my sleeve.
I looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were as a pink blush wine with a display of saphire blue. Why couldn't my eyes always be this color?
Minus the pink.

Charging my phone... again.

I thank God for the hard moments within those goodbyes; because I know that there will once again be the greatest hello.
It's really amazing to sit back and look at the relationships you have in your life. Every. Single. One.
Thus that topic will bring you upon a second post.
If destiny decided I should look the other way, then the world would never know about the greatest story ever told.