a love worth giving

God loves you, Personally, Powerfully, Passionately.
Others have promised and failed.
But God has promised and succeeded.
He loves you with an unfailing love.
And His love-If you will let it- Can fill you
And leave you with a love worth giving.


Love like there's no tomorrow, and if tomorrow comes, love again.


-Max Lucado-

pursuit of happiness

Sometimes I wish that I could have a time machine to take me back to the days that I knew when I was very happy and had no worries at all; when I felt like i had everything going for me, whether it was in sports or school. i had it so good then... 4.0 gpa, all conference and all county softball player, a well-trained voice and extremely sharp piano skills. It's funny and interesting to see what changes in a few years. It was so easy back then.

Haha, I just thought of how long ago that was. Man I am getting old lol anyway...

This year definitely has been one of the top winners for hardships. With being on the merge of graduating in May, the stress levels rise so quickly at the drop of a hat. School stress and personal stress always seem to tag team against me.However, I can now (finally) see the finish line. It's so near! I am just praying that the stress will go down too. Some things that are happening/happened in my personal life is what is more stressful than anything. I am starting a long journey of counseling to help me cope and overcome my fears and trials. It is really hard and emotionally draining; making everything I am and in me so raw and open. I don't like it right now, but I know its for the best with what I've just been through.

But even in the midst of struggle, I still have it good. I have an amazing support group behind and surrounding me, a loving family, and some of the most amazing and best friends anyone could ever ask for. I have grown in so many different ways, acquired new skills and talents and became a leader and mentor that I never imagined to be. However, some days Satan really gets me in my weakest moments and knows precisely where to attack. He gets me under the mind set that in order to be happy, good things have to happen to me or I feel loved by certain people. But maybe, happiness is something that i can only pursue. It is what I do and how I handle things and situations in my life and what I get out of them. No matter what i am feeling inside, I need to take things for what they are and be thankful for what I do have; which means, not dwelling on the past and thinking what could have happen differently or what it could be now.

Someone once defined happiness as that sense of warmth that begins at the core of the soul, spreads to the heart, and radiates outward from the eyes and lips of those who know it. The gift of happiness is elusive, but tangible. You cannot seek to find that which makes you happy for happiness comes from within and by your own choice.
And with that, I couldn't agree more. Thank you to those who have stayed with me through this journey. It has been a long road and it will continue but i know that since i have made it this far, i just gotta keep on going and never to quit. It is not in my dictionary. (it literally isnt, i cut it out.)

In every life, there are mountains that we all have to climb. God never promised us that life would be easy, but He did promise us with people in our lives to help us to keep moving forward in our weakest of times and to continue our pursuit of happiness. Being happy isnt having everything in your life be perfect. Its about stringing all the little things together and taking each day as it is and making the best out of it; making it all count more than the bad stuff. To get through it all, and to keep moving forward is maybe... all we can ask for.

I will bring praise, I will bring praise, no weapon formed against me shall remain. I will rejoice and I will declare that God is my VICTORY and He is here.

butterfly

The person who you were
is a part of my unknown.
Seeing pictures and tales-
amazing how you've grown.

You started out small,
the cutest thing you were.
Growing each and everyday,
into someone we were sure.

But in that little jar
we lost you without a doubt
All in the darkness around
you didn't hear our shout.

And in that precious night
a many sigh of great relief
We found you in hiding,
there under the milk weed leaf.

You had grown so quickly
Not much time had passed
And you were ready now
For the next stage at last.

Ready to throw the old away,
You made yourself anew!
beautiful and reborn again,
your heart is ever so true.

Ready to spread your wings
and fly into the unknown
Taking a leap of faith
and trusting in love He's shown.

Quiet, calm and gentle,
you soar over land and sea
showing beauty and love
in reserved fashion you can be.

Independent you've grown
for taking chances in life
but dependent on Him.
He will not cause you strife.

Watching you grow into
who you are today
brings tears to my eyes
and a smile that will stay.

So here you are my love
take heart and look to the sky
loved you for who you were
and now, a beautiful....

butterfly.





by Melanie S. Ward